I felt so awful when I got the phone call from my mom telling me one of the very few friends I still keep in contact with from high school lost her mom. She was an amazing woman and I know she was Lindsey's best friend. Lindsey was raised by her mom because she lost her dad at a very young age, I swear some people get all the hard stuff. You wouldn't know it by looking at Lindsey. She has such a positive and chill attitude, just like her mama did. I cannot imagine losing my mom right now and the thought of not having either of my parents is unbearable for me.
As Sam and I walked into the viewing I noticed there weren't a lot of tears, well except for mine of course. It had been forever since I saw Linds. We gave each other a good long hug and immediately got into the general conversations people do. I had prepared myself going in that I wouldn't say any of the shit that people don't want to hear. "She's in a better place," "Time heals all wounds," "You'll see her again someday." I know a lot of people reading this won't agree with me and that's fine but I feel like sometimes people just need to be told, "I'm here for you and I love you." No matter what you believe. I feel often times people are pushing people to move on before they even get the chance to mourn.
It was so good to see Lindsey and immediately I was filled with guilt. I felt horrible for not keeping in contact, for not knowing her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer a year ago! Shortly after, I was so glad she was back in my life. She's an amazing person and I see so much of her mom in her.
I had just planned on going to the viewing because Sam had work the next day and I didn't want to be sobbing in the pews solo at the funeral. When I told Lindsey this she said her and her brother would be sitting on the stand and I was welcome to join them, I believe her exact words were, "Sinners welcome." haha. Even though my girl didn't make it to the funeral with me Taylor did. There were definitely lots of tears and more laughs than I expected...I was glad he was there, even if my crying did make him uncomfortable.
I always walk away from funerals with a fresh new outlook on life. Whether it's that I need to live life more fully, tell those around me how much I love them or in this case to not sweat the small stuff. Patti was an amazing woman who very rarely let the small stuff get her down. Life is too short to let that stuff slow you down. Mine and Sams' relationship has most definitely been tested the last 4 months but we're pulling through. I think if we keep in mind how in love we are and how happy we make each other the little things won't matter so much. It's okay to disagree as long as at the end of the day we're playing for the same team. (no pun intended.)