Monday, March 14, 2011

LARP it up!

While jogging at Liberty Park two days ago, I passed the LARPers (Live Action Role Play), as I have done many a time on my strenuous exercise attempts there.
My first thought whenever I see them is how brave they are. My immediate next thought is what nerds they must be.
Aren't I sweet and totally non-judgmental?
These people, the ones who LARP out in public for the world to judge, the ones who go home and ace "Dungeons & Dragons" like it's a second grade spelling test, the ones who don't care what you think of them -- they are my new heroes.
I'd never have the guts to put on a robe and carry a shield out on the grass to fight a pretend battle that most passers-by will secretly laugh at. Even if I loved it. They have guts. One day, these people who I myself judged, will be the "cool" warriors in movies like "Lord of the Rings" or "Chronicles of Narnia." What then, Sam? Will I still be thinking they're nerds then? Nope. They're pretty rad, actually. Just practicing their craft, like everyone does, only they get crap for it.
Well, me -- you are nerds no more. Go do what you do.
(Obviously, the moral of this lesson is to be who you are and OWN it! Uhhh!)

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Monogomy??? What's that?!

Sam and I have some friends visiting from Eugene, Oregon. They happen to be in an open relationship. I think this can be taken many ways, so just to be clear, this isn't for sexual purposes specifically, although it is allowed. They hope to build intimate and good healthy relationships with other women while still maintaining and keeping focus on their relationship. I try to be an open-minded person and try not only to accept people for their decisions, but to also understand. This has been a little tricky for me to understand, but luckily they talk so openly about it I can ask all the questions I need, so I can get closer to understanding.
First off let me say I am traditional in the sense that I love a committed relationship. I love the idea of sacrificing other things for the person you love and have promised to be true to. Now, trying to keep my mind open to all points of view, people in an open relationship would probably argue they are still being true because the other is aware and it is a mutual agreement. Maybe I used the term "being true" in the wrong context, because it isn't cheating or being deceitful. What I'm getting down to is I like the idea of a monogomous relationship.
When I was discussing monogomy with one of these friends, she brought something to my attention. Monogomy is what we have been conditioned to believe. I completely agree. I know that attraction or chemistry to someone other than the person you are with is natural. Growing up you learn that monogomy is right so when you get into an open relationship it can be viewed as selfish, wrong or weak when it's human instict to have that attraction and act on those feelings. I agree with everything she said as far as that goes, BUT (there's always a but) I see something very special about commitment and sacrifice.
In the past 5 and a half years Sam and I have known each other, we have both had attractions toward other people. I think it's important to not be in denial of those feelings or to feel guilty for them because it's a natural thing. It's important to recognize those feelings for what they are but just that. Although I have had feelings for someone else while being in a relationship, I need to remember that this person can better my life and possibly be a friend if that's doable. It's even more important for me to remember why I am with Sam and what it meant to me when I committed myself to her. When I think of people I've been attracted to, they haven't held a candle to Sam. Not to say Sam is a better person, but Sam is better for me. Thinking about the people I've met in my life, no one is more compatible for me than Sam. I'm so glad I can be true to her (there's that phrase again) and show her how much I love her by sacrificing potential romantic relationships with other people. I think it makes us stronger and it constantly reminds me how perfect she is for me - that's not saying we don't have A LOT to work on.
I love my Oregon friends and if an open relationship works for them, then I stand behind them. I just know I couldn't let go of jealousy, guilt and resentment. I might be old school but I love being monogomous. I love you baby.