Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Love and Marriage

Sam might kill me for doing this because we aren't officially engaged but we have selected a wedding date and since I have been planning my wedding since I was 10 you can imagine what has been on my mind non-stop. The fact that I now work at a bridal store doesn't help either :-)

For most brides the process of getting engaged, planning the wedding and the actual wedding is exciting. I know it isn't all laughs and smiles and it does get stressful BUT when you have a family who fully supports you it's a lot easier. I know lesbians aren't the only ones who struggle with family support and some lesbians have a family who are all about a wedding. This is mine and Sam's blog so it will be about our experience.

I am in love with Sam. Sam and I getting married in Utah doesn't make us legally married or change anything a
bout the appearance of our relationship. In fact, the majority of people will choose not to recognize us as married. Sam and I want to get married to celebrate our love, our commitment to each other and bring together our friends and family and show them exactly that.

Sam and I have talked for a long time about telling our families. We finally did and were pleasantly surprised by some and extremely shocked at others reactions. We were as prepared as we could be to hear how people felt about it. I am more than happy to hear how people feel but I can't handle the family gossip. The "he said she said" makes me livid! I respect how you feel, come talk to me and I promise to listen.

There have been marriages in my family that other family members haven't agreed with but there was never a question if they would attend the wedding or not. I hate that people need to think about it. I must say that I knew the biggest issue of our families attending our wedding would be that they don't support our lifestyle and by them attending will show exactly that. Of course I want my family to support my lifestyle but I know that they don't and probably never will but I expect them to be at my wedding. Why? Because they love me. I'm their sister and their daughter.
In rereading what I have written so far I'm afraid I sound ignorant and stupid quite frankly. I'm leaving it because it is how I feel and I want to explain something. I understand from growing up in the LDS religion how important the LDS values are to active members. I know having a gay member of your family isn't something anyone wants. Being invited to your gay sister/daughters' wedding is something you need to think about. I have my good days and bad ones, today is just an impatient one. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Also, I really do appreciate those who have been so great about the news and it has brought tears to my eyes at the unconditional love they have shown.

Sam, I love you. You are my best friend and the love of my life. I cannot wait for October 8th when we can celebrate our love with our family and friends.


Saturday, October 23, 2010

Let's Catch Up...

Our big trip to Seattle and Alaska was amazing. We spent time with my amazing Aunt Cheri and Uncle Dale, seeing Dutch Town, and Her Town :), and had lots of laughs - especially during Catch Phrase. Then we went to the outlet and downtown Seattle with my big brother and his family. We wandered through Pike's Market and experienced the organic ice cream of Molly Moon's.
Sunday morning came, and my brother dropped us off at Pike's again so we could go through it more thoroughly, and we got some lunch and ate it by the pier. I hadn't planned on telling Elise yet, but I saw our ship and knew it was the perfect time. I grabbed her passport from my bag and said "That's our ship." She immediately laughed and said, "Nu-uh...are you serious? Because if this is a joke, it's really mean!" We then sat down and discussed details and both couldn't wait to get onboard!
The ship was full of retirees, but we didn't care! We had a blast and met lots of wonderful people. We explored Juneau, Ketchikan, Skagway, Glacier Bay, and Victoria B.C., Canada. The first and last on that list were our favorites. In Juneau we hiked to Mendenhall Glacier, Ketchikan brought us a relaxed evening on the balcony of Elise's new favorite Mexican restaurant, Skagway provided plenty of salmon to observe, Glacier Bay was full of - what else? Gorgeous glaciers. And then Victoria B.C. was a place we could totally see ourselves living in. We had an incredible dinner there at Pagliacci's (which I'd recommend to anyone going to Victoria), and had to get back on the ship all too soon.
Coming home was bittersweet because my girl and I love to travel, but life is good, and we've adjusted nicely. Elise is now a bridal consultant, selling wedding gowns and lllloving it! I love my job more and more each day, those kids teach me how to love and have patience better than anyone.
We went horseback riding, courtesy of my friend, a few days ago and had a very fun time, despite Elise's allergic reactions to the horse hair, Cash stepping on her foot and almost breaking her toe, and the middle of her bra snapping in half as she dismounted the horse. Ha! Poor Weese.
We had our own little picnic a few days ago at our favorite park, which is something we should do more often. And last night, my sister came for a visit, which brought good discussions and lots of laughs. She and I played the 80s game, Commercial Crazies, then went to sushi when Elise got home, then gelato at Dolcetti where we talked for forever. Then we went home to the boys and laughed some more as we used Sam's phone to reverse our voices, which is always entertaining. My one regret is only taking ONE picture that whole night. I love my sister, it was really nice to get some quality time with her.-Sam