Thursday, June 24, 2010

Deciding To Decide

I'm a girl who has trouble making decisions. Big ones, insignificant ones, doesn't matter: I have a hard time. Just 30 seconds ago, for example, I couldn't decide if I wanted to write about something serious and potentially depressing, or something light and uplifting. So, I decided to just decide. Here's what I decided: let your fingers do the work.
The words decide and decision have now lost their meaning to me because I have typed them too much. Seriously, I'm saying them in my head and they mean nothing; I don't even know if they're a real word any more.
Last night, Elise and I hung out with my long-time great friend who is a very attractive, straight young man. As I tucked in my girl to say goodnight before he and I ventured off to the park, she asked me if anything was going to happen with him. I couldn't help but snicker. "Just put me at ease," she said. To me, the thought hadn't even entered my mind. This guy is like a brother to me, and not only that, but I'm crazy in love with the girl asking me this silly question. "Of course not, babe! I'm in love with you, you know that." As he and I walked around the park at night, we discussed his current love life and I couldn't shake the thought of my love worrying I would ever cheat on her. Now, I've learned through tough experience to never say never, but I'm confident I would not ever cheat on Elise. I understand her concern, because I worry the same things when she is alone with certain other people; and it's funny how jealousy works. I trust her, she trusts me, and maybe we even trust the 3rd party. So what is it then, that causes people to cheat? Circumstance, I suppose. A turn of events, the right words, a certain look you never noticed before.
I don't really know what my point was of writing about that. I guess that's what you get for letting your fingers do the talking. Let me end with a happier note that is directed to my other half. No matter how cute or how pretty anyone else is, they're not you. I don't ever want you to worry about me lying to you or cheating, because it's not an option. My happiness meter has bursted out the top ever since we moved into our first little place in Layton. Elise - I loved you first....And last, and everything in between. ALWAYS.


  1. Aw...I loved that. I know why you posted that post, it was exactly what I needed to hear. Not that I was worried or anything it just made me feel good. It's true nevers come true so I appreciate the not ever. Ü
    I love you poo.

  2. you're a beautiful writer, sam!