I am envious of those gay people who can be gay. I know I'm in a relationship with a girl and our friends and family know about us, but why can't I be a little braver? I'm not ashamed to be with Sam and I don't think it's wrong. I'm not saying we need to show people we're gay by being affectionate in public and shouting it to the world. Every time I run into an old friend and I'm asked if I'm dating someone I answer in one of two ways.
#1 Ya, so how is it living downtown? (quick subject change).
#2 Mmmm...it's complicated. (It's not complicated at all! It's actually very clear!)
Also, when I first meet someone I'm scared to tell them I'm dating a girl. Again, when asked if I'm seeing someone. The thing is, I'm not "dating" anyone. I'm living with her and she is my companion, my partner or whatever you want to call it.
I think the issue is I'm afraid of making them feel uncomfortable or how they will feel about me after. Quite honestly if they don't want anything to do with me for being gay then I don't want them in my life anyway. I need to "grow a pair" and let other people know how happy I am. By not telling I feel like it's saying I'm ashamed to be with Sam or ashamed to be gay. I'm not. I know time makes it easier but I'm wondering if anyone has a good book to recommend or anything to help me out.