Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Love and Marriage

Sam might kill me for doing this because we aren't officially engaged but we have selected a wedding date and since I have been planning my wedding since I was 10 you can imagine what has been on my mind non-stop. The fact that I now work at a bridal store doesn't help either :-)

For most brides the process of getting engaged, planning the wedding and the actual wedding is exciting. I know it isn't all laughs and smiles and it does get stressful BUT when you have a family who fully supports you it's a lot easier. I know lesbians aren't the only ones who struggle with family support and some lesbians have a family who are all about a wedding. This is mine and Sam's blog so it will be about our experience.

I am in love with Sam. Sam and I getting married in Utah doesn't make us legally married or change anything a
bout the appearance of our relationship. In fact, the majority of people will choose not to recognize us as married. Sam and I want to get married to celebrate our love, our commitment to each other and bring together our friends and family and show them exactly that.

Sam and I have talked for a long time about telling our families. We finally did and were pleasantly surprised by some and extremely shocked at others reactions. We were as prepared as we could be to hear how people felt about it. I am more than happy to hear how people feel but I can't handle the family gossip. The "he said she said" makes me livid! I respect how you feel, come talk to me and I promise to listen.

There have been marriages in my family that other family members haven't agreed with but there was never a question if they would attend the wedding or not. I hate that people need to think about it. I must say that I knew the biggest issue of our families attending our wedding would be that they don't support our lifestyle and by them attending will show exactly that. Of course I want my family to support my lifestyle but I know that they don't and probably never will but I expect them to be at my wedding. Why? Because they love me. I'm their sister and their daughter.
In rereading what I have written so far I'm afraid I sound ignorant and stupid quite frankly. I'm leaving it because it is how I feel and I want to explain something. I understand from growing up in the LDS religion how important the LDS values are to active members. I know having a gay member of your family isn't something anyone wants. Being invited to your gay sister/daughters' wedding is something you need to think about. I have my good days and bad ones, today is just an impatient one. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Also, I really do appreciate those who have been so great about the news and it has brought tears to my eyes at the unconditional love they have shown.

Sam, I love you. You are my best friend and the love of my life. I cannot wait for October 8th when we can celebrate our love with our family and friends.



  1. yay!

    i am not family nor friend nor acquaintance, but yay!

    i really hope those who struggle with your relationship/union will come around to some degree between now and your wedding. it really should be an amazing time for not just you two, but the entire family.


  2. WHAT! When did this development occur?! I assume its Oct 8th 2011, cause if I missed it and was not told, I am not going to talk to you two for a very long time.....

    Congrats btw :)

  3. Trev you didn't miss a thing. Of course you would be one of the first we'd call. Sorry you had to find out this way. Haha. We've talked about it for a long time but someone still has to purpose. I miss you Trevor! Thanks for the congrats.

  4. You two are gorgeous together. Congratulations!