You're There

What if we stop having a ball?
What if the paint chips from the wall?
What if there's always cups in the sink?
And what if I'm not what you think I am?

What if I fall further than you?
What if you dream of somebody new?
What if I never let you win?
And chase you with a rolling pin?
Well? What if I do?

Cuz I am giving up on making passes and
I am giving up on half empty glasses and
I am giving up on greener grasses
I am giving up.

What if our baby comes in after nine?
What if your eyes close before mine?
What if you lose yourself sometimes?
Then I'll be the one to find you,
Safe in my heart.
-Ingrid Michaelson

Thank you, my Weese. For always being there, even when I didn't deserve it.

Sam

Sam,

My love.

I am lucky.

I am lucky I have you.

You’ve helped me grow.

I am better because I know you.

You have brought so much joy into my life.

You’ve made me cry but made me laugh even more.

You have taught me patience and understanding through example.

You help me to see the little joys of life and remind me what’s important.

Just when I think I couldn’t possibly love you anymore you show me a way to.

I love that look you give me that says, “I love you” without any words.

I feel protected with you, like you won’t let anything harm me.

There is no one I would rather spend every minute with.

It’s definitely a bonus that you are beautiful.

You have the same desires as me.

You make me happy.

I love you.

EEL

People...It's About People.

"The friendship that can cease,
was never real to begin with." -Unknown

I read that quote once in high school, and for whatever reason, it stuck with me through the years.

Perhaps because I always wondered if it was true. Perhaps because it made me never want to find out if it was.

As a good friend once told me, relationships with people are truly the most important things in life. I believe that with all my heart. As long as you care about others and have people that care about you, you can go on.

People bring you down only to teach you lessons; and you get right back up again. You learn how to avoid such a hard fall next time.
People judge you only to let you know how it feels - so you think twice before doing it to another.
People lie to you only to make you figure out the truth the hard way. Not everything can be easy, after all.
People steal from you only because they need it more; whatever it may be.
People don't forgive you, only to make you try harder to apologize. Actions speak louder than words.
People disappoint you only to make you yearn to make others proud.
People forget you, perhaps, because...you let them.

I want to make an impact on PEOPLE. A positive impact, on every person I meet. I don't want to be that friendship that can cease. I want to be that person who lifts his burden so he can rest a while; or who carries her across the street because it's obvious she's hurt. I want to make that crusty-faced, impatient waitress laugh; and temporarily forget about the awful day that caused her awful mood. I want to get to know the bus drivers I see every morning and afternoon for only 30 seconds at a time. I want to forgive easily because I know from first-hand experience that people are bound to make mistakes.

I'm always going to have to strive to be this person. I will forget, or move too fast, or fail, but I will always try again.

I want to be open-minded.
After all...you miss so much when you only stare straight ahead.

-Sam

Things that make me Happy

1. Sam
2. My roomies
3. Kenna
4. Mattie
5. Dancing
6. Singing
7. Exercising
8. Family
9. Showering
10. Love
11. Listening
12. Talking
13. Laughing
14. Eating
15. Sunshine
16. Swimming
17. Sex
18. Reading
19. Watching movies
20. Walking at the park
21. Puppies
22. Baking
23. Modern family
24. Birthdays
25. Flowers
26. Babies

Things that don't make me happy
1. Being out of time to continue with things that do make me happy.

SORT OF

Written by Ingrid Michaelson

Baby, you've got the sort of hands to rip me apart
And baby, you've got the sort of face to start this old heart
But your eyes are warning me this early morning
That my love's too big for you my love


Baby, you've got the sort of laugh that waters me
And makes me grow tall and strong and proud and flattens me
I find you stunning, but you are running me down
My love's too big for you my love
My love's too big for you my love

And if I was stronger then I would tell you no
And if I was stronger then I will leave this show
And if I was stronger then I would up and go
But here I am and here we go again

Baby, you've got the sort of eyes that tell me tales
That your sort of mouth just will not say, the truth impales
That you don't need me, but you won't leave me
My loves too big for you my love
My loves too big for you my love

And if I was stronger then I would tell you no
And if I was stronger then I will leave this show
And if I was stronger then I would up and go
But here I am and here we go again

Tell me what to do, to take away the you

And if I was stronger then I would tell you no.
And if I was stronger then I will leave this show
And if I was stronger then I would up and go
But here I am and here we go again

Love and Marriage

Sam might kill me for doing this because we aren't officially engaged but we have selected a wedding date and since I have been planning my wedding since I was 10 you can imagine what has been on my mind non-stop. The fact that I now work at a bridal store doesn't help either :-)

For most brides the process of getting engaged, planning the wedding and the actual wedding is exciting. I know it isn't all laughs and smiles and it does get stressful BUT when you have a family who fully supports you it's a lot easier. I know lesbians aren't the only ones who struggle with family support and some lesbians have a family who are all about a wedding. This is mine and Sam's blog so it will be about our experience.

I am in love with Sam. Sam and I getting married in Utah doesn't make us legally married or change anything a

bout the appearance of our relationship. In fact, the majority of people will choose not to recognize us as married. Sam and I want to get married to celebrate our love, our commitment to each other and bring together our friends and family and show them exactly that.

Sam and I have talked for a long time about telling our families. We finally did and were pleasantly surprised by some and extremely shocked at others reactions. We were as prepared as we could be to hear how people felt about it. I am more than happy to hear how people feel but I can't handle the family gossip. The "he said she said" makes me livid! I respect how you feel, come talk to me and I promise to listen.

There have been marriages in my family that other family members haven't agreed with but there was never a question if they would attend the wedding or not. I hate that people need to think about it. I must say that I knew the biggest issue of our families attending our wedding would be that they don't support our lifestyle and by them attending will show exactly that. Of course I want my family to support my lifestyle but I know that they don't and probably never will but I expect them to be at my wedding. Why? Because they love me. I'm their sister and their daughter.

In rereading what I have written so far I'm afraid I sound ignorant and stupid quite frankly. I'm leaving it because it is how I feel and I want to explain something. I understand from growing up in the LDS religion how important the LDS values are to active members. I know having a gay member of your family isn't something anyone wants. Being invited to your gay sister/daughters' wedding is something you need to think about. I have my good days and bad ones, today is just an impatient one. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Also, I really do appreciate those who have been so great about the news and it has brought tears to my eyes at the unconditional love they have shown.

Sam, I love you. You are my best friend and the love of my life. I cannot wait for October 8th when we can celebrate our love with our family and friends.

-Elise

Let's Catch Up...

Our big trip to Seattle and Alaska was amazing. We spent time with my amazing Aunt Cheri and Uncle Dale, seeing Dutch Town, and Her Town :), and had lots of laughs - especially during Catch Phrase. Then we went to the outlet and downtown Seattle with my big brother and his family. We wandered through Pike's Market and experienced the organic ice cream of Molly Moon's.

Sunday morning came, and my brother dropped us off at Pike's again so we could go through it more thoroughly, and we got some lunch and ate it by the pier. I hadn't planned on telling Elise yet, but I saw our ship and knew it was the perfect time. I grabbed her passport from my bag and said "That's our ship." She immediately laughed and said, "Nu-uh...are you serious? Because if this is a joke, it's really mean!" We then sat down and discussed details and both couldn't wait to get onboard!

The ship was full of retirees, but we didn't care! We had a blast and met lots of wonderful people. We explored Juneau, Ketchikan, Skagway, Glacier Bay, and Victoria B.C., Canada. The first and last on that list were our favorites. In Juneau we hiked to Mendenhall Glacier, Ketchikan brought us a relaxed evening on the balcony of Elise's new favorite Mexican restaurant, Skagway provided plenty of salmon to observe, Glacier Bay was full of - what else? Gorgeous glaciers. And then Victoria B.C. was a place we could totally see ourselves living in. We had an incredible dinner there at Pagliacci's (which I'd recommend to anyone going to Victoria), and had to get back on the ship all too soon.

Coming home was bittersweet because my girl and I love to travel, but life is good, and we've adjusted nicely. Elise is now a bridal consultant, selling wedding gowns and lllloving it! I love my job more and more each day, those kids teach me how to love and have patience better than anyone.

We went horseback riding, courtesy of my friend, a few days ago and had a very fun time, despite Elise's allergic reactions to the horse hair, Cash stepping on her foot and almost breaking her toe, and the middle of her bra snapping in half as she dismounted the horse. Ha! Poor Weese.

We had our own little picnic a few days ago at our favorite park, which is something we should do more often. And last night, my sister came for a visit, which brought good discussions and lots of laughs. She and I played the 80s game, Commercial Crazies, then went to sushi when Elise got home, then gelato at Dolcetti where we talked for forever. Then we went home to the boys and laughed some more as we used Sam's phone to reverse our voices, which is always entertaining. My one regret is only taking ONE picture that whole night. I love my sister, it was really nice to get some quality time with her.-Sam